Perhaps one of the biggest challenges in anyone’s life is time. It goes by quickly, and as adults, the demands on our time only continue to increase.
We have to balance home, family, work, interests, health, friends, and then all the pulls. By pulls, I mean all the things that come up. These are things we have a choice to say yes or no to. On the one hand, it’s fun and life-giving to do something new. It adds a bit of variety to our routine. However, attending a social gathering can leave us drained the next day for all the regular commitments and demands. I think the big tug-of-war for adults is learning to find a proper balance. I know this is something I have constantly struggled with, and still do.
As a writer, the lack of balance is strongly felt. Writing is a solitary task. To keep the inspiration and creativity flowing, writers need varying levels of quiet. Quiet will look different for each writer, but essentially, it is our time to recharge our creativity. As a strong introvert, I do have to be careful about how much time I spend around people. Too much, and I’ve got nothing. Too little, and I’ve got nothing. A better way to state that is being selective about who I spend my time with, and how that time is spent.
Now, I could write about things I do or things others do to find this balance. But a better way to for us to ask a question. What do I want my life to look like in 5 years? 10 years?
What do I want my life to look like in 5 years? 10 years?
What does that look like to you? And what do you need to do to get there? And here’s the hard part: Who or what do I need to add or subtract to get there?
Let me make this a little practical for you. I’ve been working on my writing for… as long as I can remember. I made the choice to pursue it as more than a hobby, probably from 2014 to 2020. During this time (and since), I’ve had to make changes to how I live my life.
First, job. For me, this meant pursuing a job that didn’t drain me. I love teaching, but spending all day with students and in that work environment left me with nothing for writing. Changing job has given me time and energy to write.
Second, family. I used to think I had to use all my free time for writing. As a result, I was sacrificing time with family. That was wrong! Core relationships are vital. They give us encouragement and strength like nothing else. Do I spend as much time with my family as I’d like to? No, but I do have dedicated time with my family, and I don’t sacrifice it. I will never regret the time spent with my family.
Third, friends. We need our support system. We also need to be selective with our support system. For me, the best indicator is how I feel walking away from time spent with someone. Am I drained? Or do I feel energized? If I feel drained, then I evaluate the friendship. Do I feel energized? Then that friendship added value. There have been some friendships I’ve had to walk away from because they were one-sided. I did have honest conversations with these friends, and I gave room for growth. As the friendship remained one-sided, I chose to spend less time with that individual. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it’s not. As adults, we are our biggest responsibility. If a friendship isn’t a support (doesn’t add value), then it isn’t a friendship.
Fourth, time. I had to take an honest look at how I was spending my free time. I had to dedicate time to writing, and that meant mornings. I’m already a morning person, so waking up early is not an issue for me. However, I did have to make adjustments to my routine. There are certain morning tasks that I had to move to the evenings, which unearthed some established habits. It is still really easy to slip into the established habit and forget the important tasks, but I’m getting better.
These are some pretty basic but important areas of adjustment I’ve had to make to honor my writing. Perhaps you’re pursuing writing as a side hustle or as a full-time gig. Maybe you have a different entrepreneurial direction. Whatever our five or ten year dream looks like, evaluate your time and commitments carefully. And don’t be afraid to make necessary changes.
K. M. Wray 